Justin and I love people. We love people visiting our home. We love feeding people. We love finding ways to love on the people we love. We LOVE people. It's engrained in who we are as individuals and has always been a huge factor in our relationship.
Unfortunately, we are also very messy people. We try, really we do. We'll make a lot of headway but the mess is always just ahead of us. And we have brought 3 small people in to help the mess along. Growing up, if the house wasn't clean we couldn't have company over which meant I never had friends stay the night, we almost never had dinner guests, and unannounced visitors were completely taboo. Needless to say, as an adult, I've had some serious anxieties over our mess as it pertains to the people that I so desperately want to serve and have in my own home.
It's all getting better - the mess and the anxiety. And so, tonight, when our dinner plans with one set of friends were cancelled, I looked around and I just said "What the hell." What. The. Hell. I picked up the phone and called another friend and said "Do you have dinner plans?" and with that, it all went away. I knew that my desire to fellowship and serve this other family outweighed my fear of the dishes in my sink and the huge pile of laundry on the sofa. "People are more important than things" - I say this to my preschooler all the time. But it hit me smack in the face tonight.
Give love and you will receive it. Give yourself permission to care more about the people who matter and stop giving energy to pride and fear. Just do it!